I have seen many things and people in my life, but I have never – NEVER – seen such an expression of pure naked avarice as I did last week from my one-year-old son Armand. We were running by Toys R Us, as I was in the mood to get him something new. I was figuring a car would be nice – he likes pushing around plastic cars, and I was all set to get him something nifty and appropriately nerd-friendly like a toddler-friendly Batmobile or Mach 5 or some such. Armand had other ideas.
We were wandering through the old-school toys aisle and came across a Corn Popper – basically a little wheeled globe on a stick that you push around and it makes little balls bang around the globe. Maybe you played with one when you were a kid. Heck, maybe your PARENTS played with one when they were kids, it’s that old. Armand seized onto that thing like a drowning man onto the last life jacket. He wouldn’t let go of it for hours – just scanning the thing at the checkout was an act of considerable gymnastics. (For the record, all you concerned parents out there, I’m not easily dragged around by the kid – crying and screaming doesn’t normally get him what he wants. I made an exception here since we walked into the place with every intention of leaving with a new toy, and he pretty well made the decision for us!)
In retrospect, I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s like a perfect crossroads of all things Armand-friendly. He likes walking around, he likes noise, he likes sticks (seriously, he’ll just wave around a stick and think it’s the best thing ever) and he likes things on wheels. So here we have a stick on wheels that makes noise when he walks. GENIUS.
Plus, apparently it’s cuddly, despite being made of solid plastic, as he’s insisted on sleeping with the thing for three days straight.
Interestingly, I’ve been reading lately that old-school toys are making a big comeback, for a variety of reasons including nostalgia, simplicity, and the fact that everyone’s scared to death of the new toys coming out of China these days. Or maybe it’s just that kids like things that make noise when they get pushed around.
Myself, I’m all for nostalgia, particularly given that it’s put “Doctor Who” back on the air and gotten 25-year-old G.I. Joe toys back on the shelves. The little secret I’m never going to tell Armand is that I’m only slightly more mature than he is.
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