I’m putting a lot of thought into getting a dog, but I don’t want just any puppy. It’s got to be a companion, a real man’s best friend. That means poodles, the most selfish of all dogs, are out. I thought about a Weimaraner, except people might mistake me as being artsy, which would mean I’d have to start wearing berets. No thanks.
A lot of soul searching (and the fact that I watched “I Am Legend” the night before) brought me to a decision: I want a German Shepherd. Besides the fact that German Shepherds are loyal and loving, they’re also practical. They’re the type of dog you’d want during doomsday or a hostage situation. Don’t believe me? According to Wikipedia, the authority on such matters, German shepherds are an optimal breed for explosives detection and cadaver searching. Enough said.
Actually, one more thing: Rin Tin Tin.
I blame my co-workers (in part, at least) for my newfound canine craving. Lindsay’s dog Clio had an entire litter of puppies who’ve visited the Blue House; Tristan has an adoption website; Kristy has Rottweilers; Jackie has Great Danes. The list (no, not “the List”) goes on.
Around here, we have an open-door policy for animals: you can bring your pet, as long as no one else is allergic or has complaints. No one to my knowledge is allergic in the Blue House, for we make it aware that such weaknesses are considered a mortal sin during interviews.
But in all seriousness, adopting a dog is a huge responsibility, one that I’ve put a lot of thought into. If I get a dog, I’ll use Angie’s List to choose the vet, but I’ll have to make some other decisions on my own. Do I get my dog from a breeder, a shelter, a rescue organization? Do I choose a puppy or an adult? Male or female?
Most important of all, after which Indiana Jones character should I name the dog?
Sallah, no doubt.
“The dog!? You are named after THE DOG!?”
“I had a lot of fond memories of that dog.”