I want to learn to dance — not shake my booty, but really dance, as in fox trot, cha-cha, even tango.
This desire stems from several years ago when I covered the Van Cliburn International Piano Competition. One of the events involved a formal dinner and dance. The social elite in attendance moved with elegant precision to the sounds of Glenn Miller. My fellow journalists and I shrank into a corner and ordered more drinks.
Next time, I want to bust out some serious moves.
I’ve been searching the List for dance studios. Here are my choices:
Tippy Toes Dance Studio. Member review: “I highly recommend this school of dance for preschoolers.”
Dance Expressions. Member review: “My 4-year-old daughter takes ballet and tap dance lessons there.”
At this point in my search, I start to feel a little creepy.
I scroll down to Stage I Dance Academy. Member review: “Beverly strongly discourages cliques and gossiping among the girls and their parents.”
Sigh.
Can grown men not learn to dance? Am I condemned to a life of two left feet?
Please, somebody. Help me.
I turn next to the Russian Ballet Academy of Indiana.
Sounds serious and adult. Instructor Alyona Yakovleva certainly is an adult. Wow. She’s gorgeous. Alas, Ms. Yakovleva is not only stunningly beautiful but also a serious ballerina and way overqualified for a paunchy middle-aged dude wanting to shuffle to “Moonlight Serenade”.
Finally, I get to Riolo Dance Studio. Member review: “My fiance and I are getting married in two days …” Aha! Adults learning to dance. Sweet. I just might have found the right place.
I don’t know how to dance, either. But the cool kids never do (see: greasers).
Dude, greasers know how to dance — haven’t you ever seen ‘Crybaby?’
Or, Grease?
Touché, Lindsay!
And crumping. Those guys aren’t sissies. Sure, they dress like clowns and dance around like fools. But they’re no sissies.
I thought something had gotten into my parents’ water supply when they recently told me they enjoyed crump dancing. But they quickly explained that they enjoyed watching it on “So You Think You Can Dance.”
That’s right up there with another thing that you never want to imagine your parents doing.
Have you googled MC Hammer lately? He just started a website called dancejam.com.
It’s like youtube except it shows you how to dance. Every genre from bhangra to tap is available. Check it out:
dancejam.com
Please Matthew, don’t hurt ‘em!
Have I Googled MC Hammer lately? Indeed I have! I have a Google Alert set up for my all-consuming fascination with him and his mad skills (and parachute pants)!
Goodbye, Riolo. Hello, MC Hammer.
He’s the Fred Astaire of my generation.
“Can’t touch this!”
Actually, I’m still going to seek local instruction. Sorry, MC.
Jackie turned me on to “Let’s Dance” in Broad Ripple. I didn’t look at them because they had an overall “B” rating, but Jackie says they are great and after reading the reports, I think they will be good for me. One negative review criticized them for “catering to newcomers.” Perfect for me!
Matthew, thanks for the comments on our boss (and my wife). we are very proud to be considered as professional and adult, we are a pre-professional academy after all… but you are right we don’t cater to the adult students other than our adult ballet. you are not the first to point that out… we are putting some ballroom and other dance programs by professional instructors. so for you pauchy middle-aged dudes (your words)who want to learn to dance and make our ladies happy by taking lessons {discribes me BTW} or any other reason look us up in January. Thanks again, I like her hence the need to learn to dance.